loltraitorlol: (robot form // megatroooon!)
[personal profile] loltraitorlol
I would firstly like to say that I was incredibly displeased with the first film, despite it alerting you pitiful organics to our marvelous glory. It was too many Autobots, not enough Decepticons and, most importantly, not enough me. And what little me there is looks like a giant chicken-monkey.

However, I am obliged to see the new film regardless, so I just wasted two hours of my life. I hope you are all happy.

First: why so much about the humans. No one cares about them! Especially not me! Sam is just another slagging Witwicky, the only difference is that he's occasionally funny and doesn't wear a yellow hardhat.

Second: WHY DID THEY BRING MEGATRON BACK HE SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD oh primus the Fallen whyyyy BUT ANYWAY MEGATRON SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD. I AM MORE THAN VILLAIN ENOUGH FOR THIS PIECE AND I AM NOT THE FALLEN'S BITCH.

Third: What. WHAT. I AM NOT THAT MUCH OF A COWARD 1 I WOULDN'T JUST STAND THERE AND TAKE IT LIKE THAT FROM MEGATRON2, FIGHT BACK, DIDN'T YOU RULE CYBERTRON IN THE COMICS ARrrrrrgh. AND I AM STILL A CHICKEN MONKEY?! WHAT IS THIS

Argh. NEEDS MORE ME. ME ME ME. In fact, slag Revenge of the Fallen, this should have been Starscream: The Movie.

Fourth: Once again, too many Autobots.

In conclusion: This is the most worthless film I have ever seen – wait, no, that was Viva Chihuahua Primus why did I see that oh right, free ticket even so and Michael Bay can shove it right up his actuator.

PS: HAHA, RAVAGE DIED AGAIN. Also, Soundwave, what were you doing to that satellite?! That was - I didn't need to see that.

1No, he totally is. – Ed.
2Yes, he would. – Ed.

Date: 2009-06-26 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allshock-notalk.livejournal.com
OPERATION: INTERFERE WITH COMMUNICATIONS AND RECEIVE DATA.
THAT IS ALL I WAS DOING.
THAT IS ALL.

Date: 2009-06-26 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
... right. Sure. That's all.

This is my incredulous face, Soundwave.

Date: 2009-06-26 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allshock-notalk.livejournal.com
MY STATUS: USEFUL.
YOUR STATUS: GETTING KICKED AROUND BY MEGATRON.
GETTING LAID: NICE ADDITION.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
THAT IS NOT MY STATUS I AM THE SECOND IN COMMAND

OH SLAG YOU

Date: 2009-06-26 02:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ajrimmer-ssc.livejournal.com
At least you have dialogue in this one? And at least they're making your movies. Mine's been in development hell for over a decade.

Date: 2009-06-26 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
...

Okay, that's fair. My last line was actually not bad.

Pft. I think the human phrase is, "sucks to be you". I've had three movies now.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ajrimmer-ssc.livejournal.com
Ah well, the Back To Earth special was the highest rated show on that night, so I'm sure they'll do a proper Series IX soon.

It might suck to be me, but at least I'll never have to work with Michael smegging Bay.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
[grumble]

At least my vehicle mode is nice in this film.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ajrimmer-ssc.livejournal.com
...Oh, god, I'm just imagining Red Dwarf, The Movie as directed by Michael Bay. And my role is played by Shia LeBeouf. And Lister is played by Marlon Wayans.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
...

[BRB, LOL'ING FOREVER]

Date: 2009-06-26 03:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ajrimmer-ssc.livejournal.com
And Will Ferrel as Kryten. And Larry David as Holly. And...gawd, who'd play the Cat?

Date: 2009-06-26 03:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
Johnny Depp.

Thing is, that'd probably save the film.

No wait.

They'd actually cast Adam Sandler.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ajrimmer-ssc.livejournal.com
UGH.

Adam Sandler? Couldn't we at least get a person of colour to be the Cat? Bad enough they cast a white woman as the Cat in the American remake.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
Rimmer, this is America. Do you REALLY think they'll get the casting right? Look at Avatar!

Date: 2009-06-26 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ajrimmer-ssc.livejournal.com
...Point.

Adam Sandler? Yuck.

Date: 2009-06-26 02:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lyingbrat.livejournal.com
Well, at least you got to have more than one movie!

Date: 2009-06-26 03:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
If I recall, your film wasn't terribly faithful to the book anyway.
...

Not that I can talk, but at least mine was watchable.

And yes. I've had three.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lyingbrat.livejournal.com
Don't remind me. Something about making it family friendly was what they told me. At least I won't have to worry about it happening again.

Lucky you. Although at least I didn't look like a chicken monkey.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
[splutters at mention of chicken-monkey]

SLAG YOU MICHAEL BAYYYY

Date: 2009-06-26 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lyingbrat.livejournal.com
Well, maybe you can track him down and make him show you properly next time?

Also... What was Soundwave doing to that Satellite?

Date: 2009-06-26 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
You...

You really don't want to know.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lyingbrat.livejournal.com
Wait... If it's like what my parents-

I don't think I do either.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] forevertesting.livejournal.com
I am incredibly thankful that I wasn't in it.

And no, you can't say I was one of those seven pathetic Primes that had an orgy to hide the alleged Matrix.

Date: 2009-06-26 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
...

nope, pretty sure you were there, nova nemisis.

[smirk]

Date: 2009-06-26 03:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] forevertesting.livejournal.com
At least I wasn't a giant metal triangle.

At least I wasn't shown for long, even if I happened to be there.

Date: 2009-06-26 04:21 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-06-26 04:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellcommander.livejournal.com
YOU KNOW, I like explosions and all?

But there were enough fucking explosions in there to last me a fucking lifetime.

I fell asleep.

Date: 2009-06-27 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
AGREED. VERY MUCH AGREED.

Date: 2009-06-27 01:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hellcommander.livejournal.com
Kekeke, snore! I had other things I could have been doing.

Date: 2009-06-26 05:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] androllout.livejournal.com
...

I kind of liked it?

but seriously, how often DO I die and come back?

Date: 2009-06-26 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] traitorambition.livejournal.com
I have to say, I think we're in total agreement.

Though that really shouldn't surprise me.

Date: 2009-06-27 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com
Indeed~

Speaking of us, there's now two of us on Dear_Mun! One's from the comics, but still. Four of us! And all of them brilliant.

Date: 2009-06-27 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] traitorambition.livejournal.com
Really, now?

Well, that is something to be glad about.

Date: 2009-06-27 01:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buzzer-bot.livejournal.com
Wazpinator not really get it...

...but Wazpinator feel inzect-bot ztuck in zame boat az Wazpinator.

Date: 2009-06-27 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buzzer-bot.livejournal.com
Inzect-bot! Found ztupid Witwicky-fleshy in the houze in the dezert!

Got wingz pulled off...

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AIR COMMANDER STARSCREAM, EMPEROR OF DESTRUCTION

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