loltraitorlol: (robot form // megatroooon!)
AIR COMMANDER STARSCREAM, EMPEROR OF DESTRUCTION ([personal profile] loltraitorlol) wrote2009-06-25 10:47 pm
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Starscream Reviews Revenge of the Fallen

I would firstly like to say that I was incredibly displeased with the first film, despite it alerting you pitiful organics to our marvelous glory. It was too many Autobots, not enough Decepticons and, most importantly, not enough me. And what little me there is looks like a giant chicken-monkey.

However, I am obliged to see the new film regardless, so I just wasted two hours of my life. I hope you are all happy.

First: why so much about the humans. No one cares about them! Especially not me! Sam is just another slagging Witwicky, the only difference is that he's occasionally funny and doesn't wear a yellow hardhat.

Second: WHY DID THEY BRING MEGATRON BACK HE SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD oh primus the Fallen whyyyy BUT ANYWAY MEGATRON SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD. I AM MORE THAN VILLAIN ENOUGH FOR THIS PIECE AND I AM NOT THE FALLEN'S BITCH.

Third: What. WHAT. I AM NOT THAT MUCH OF A COWARD 1 I WOULDN'T JUST STAND THERE AND TAKE IT LIKE THAT FROM MEGATRON2, FIGHT BACK, DIDN'T YOU RULE CYBERTRON IN THE COMICS ARrrrrrgh. AND I AM STILL A CHICKEN MONKEY?! WHAT IS THIS

Argh. NEEDS MORE ME. ME ME ME. In fact, slag Revenge of the Fallen, this should have been Starscream: The Movie.

Fourth: Once again, too many Autobots.

In conclusion: This is the most worthless film I have ever seen – wait, no, that was Viva Chihuahua Primus why did I see that oh right, free ticket even so and Michael Bay can shove it right up his actuator.

PS: HAHA, RAVAGE DIED AGAIN. Also, Soundwave, what were you doing to that satellite?! That was - I didn't need to see that.

1No, he totally is. – Ed.
2Yes, he would. – Ed.

[identity profile] ajrimmer-ssc.livejournal.com 2009-06-26 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
...Oh, god, I'm just imagining Red Dwarf, The Movie as directed by Michael Bay. And my role is played by Shia LeBeouf. And Lister is played by Marlon Wayans.

[identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com 2009-06-26 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
...

[BRB, LOL'ING FOREVER]

[identity profile] ajrimmer-ssc.livejournal.com 2009-06-26 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
And Will Ferrel as Kryten. And Larry David as Holly. And...gawd, who'd play the Cat?

[identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com 2009-06-26 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
Johnny Depp.

Thing is, that'd probably save the film.

No wait.

They'd actually cast Adam Sandler.

[identity profile] ajrimmer-ssc.livejournal.com 2009-06-26 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
UGH.

Adam Sandler? Couldn't we at least get a person of colour to be the Cat? Bad enough they cast a white woman as the Cat in the American remake.

[identity profile] loltraitorlol.livejournal.com 2009-06-26 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
Rimmer, this is America. Do you REALLY think they'll get the casting right? Look at Avatar!

[identity profile] ajrimmer-ssc.livejournal.com 2009-06-26 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
...Point.

Adam Sandler? Yuck.